Wha…? Who….? Huh?
The kids were (are) lazing around and I was playing a very important game of “Scramble with friends” on the phone, when it just occurred to me… I should post something on my blog.
Yes, I’m posting but this doesn’t mean I’m “back”. I just felt like saying “hello!” and erg… sorry for disappearing without saying goodbye?
In my defense, I think I got a little oppositional-defiance-disordery with myself. I said to myself… “you can’t MAKE me do anything I don’t WANT to do.” And my better self said, “but you HAVE to. People are COUNTING on you. I’M COUNTING on you.” And my other self said, “B.S. No one will even notice that I’m gone so take your blog and stick it where the sun don’t shine!”
Then I declared that 2012 was the year of “NO“. I wouldn’t do anything this year that I didn’t bloody well want to do. I would learn how to say “NO” to people who guilted me into doing things that over-extended myself (obviously that excludes the kids), and I think I had to start with saying “NO” to myself and to the blog.
Truly, the blog was never about other people… it was always about writing for the love of writing and just to sort out feelings about life and chronicle the highlights of my kids’ childhoods.
The minute my blog became about making OTHER people happy, it became one more stress that I couldn’t handle and I stopped caring about it. I’m thoughtful like that.
So, I’m back to posting, but I have absolutely no idea how often that will be. Maybe once a month, maybe once a week. Maybe more.
The kids are fabulous, by the way. Creating Little Monsters doesn’t really describe them anymore. I’m sure I’m putting my foot in my mouth to say this, and I should probably start knocking my head on some wood… but they’re so much more like “Little Angels” than “Little Monsters” these days.
I’ll never get over how intense this sort of love can be. I just wish I could make them stop growing so fast. Brain-wave! Maybe we build some sort of stasis machine? I bet parents would buy them in droves! Better still- a time machine! More thoughts on that later.
Until next time,