Bathtub Conversations

The kids have such magical moments when playing in the bathtub, last night as I was watching them play I felt compelled to capture it.

Julia:  “It’s a slobbery poop making the poop go aaaalllll over the towel because we’re bad dinosaurs.”

James:  “We washed all the poop off-”

Julia:  “-but you can’t wash it aaaalllll off-”

James:  “-because the water is purple, and if he goes into the purple stuff he gets covered in poop.”  Mom sniggers and runs to get a notebook and a pen with which to capture this moment.

Julia sings:

“I’m playing  in my poop.

I’m stepping in my poop.

I’m squishing in my poop.

It’s so much fun to play in poop.

I like to smell my poop.

I play in my poop every day-ay-ay.”

Mom pauses to lift an eyebrow and takes a deep breath.  Begins wondering about the sanity of children.

James (in a commanding voice):  “Ugh.  I need to start all over.  Good.  Good.  Just push it out, Sir.

Julia says sweetly:  “You don’t mind if I make more poop?  I have a poop collection.  I just keep making more!”

James:  “We’re, like, underwater and I poop and pretend I pooped in my bed and then we went for breakfast.  Now we’re on a submarine and it brought us to the center of danger.  And there’s lots of danger there…

(Mom:  Hmm… are we done with poop finally?) 

…I’m putting poop on this guy (makes squishy sound effects).”

Julia squeals:  “HEY!  That’s MY poop!”

The moral?  Poop is pretty amazing shit.  And, kids are nucking futs.


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