Josie and her best bud, Leah-Rose, are both 2-and-a-half.
They speak the same language, and it’s hilarious to watch. Their banter is especially fascinating when I have absolutely no idea what they are talking about. Sometimes they’ll double team me and ask for something. I play the part of the half-wit adult who can’t understand the simple dialogue. They play the part of the know-it-all twins.
Josie: “Mooooooommm, pease has some bumblejumpins??”
Leah-Rose: “Attie Eh-win (Auntie Erin), pease we pease has some bumblejumpins??”
Erin (without a clue) says: “Er… bumblejumpins?”
Josie & Leah-Rose together: “Yessss!!! Bumblejumpins!!”
Erin’s left eyebrow hits the ceiling: “Um…”
The most innocuous conversations can end up with both the girls spurting flames from their eyeballs at each other. They’re like a hearing-impaired old married couple with slight dementia, but they usually make up just as quickly as they argue.
Josie: “I be doc-toh and you be da… da… da…”
Leah-Rose: “You be a doc-toh and I be a.. a… a mommy.”
Josie: “Noooo, you be a mommy an’ I be da doc-tOHHH.” (Her last syllable breaks the sound barrier.)
Leah-Rose: “NOOOO! YOU BE DA DOC-TOH!”
Toddler-style push-fight ensues. Someone trips over an errant toy. Both children start spurting tears instead of flames.
Mommy (that would be me), who has been standing by, slightly bewildered, finally intervenes. Gives Josie the stethoscope. Gives Leah-Rose the baby. Gives both the stink-eye.
“Josie, you be the doctor. Leah-Rose, you be the mommy. Try to play nice.”
After a half hour of quiet and harmonious playing, chaos again erupts. Flames spurt out of eyeballs. Within a few minutes, they make up.
Repeat… All. Day. Long.