Testosterone, Estrogen, Pheromones…
It’s what causes grown and perfectly rational women to behave like 13 year old boy-possessed lunatics.
Since I very much enjoy acting like a lunatic, a friend and I decided to take a trip to 1996 and go to the Backstreet Boys/New Kids on the Block concert last night.
Imagine my surprise when all nine of the fellas came out looking like sexy versions of Glenn Hughes. I was riveted.
There was a lot of this
And entirely not enough of this.
In fact I was completely disappointed in the distinct lack of abdominal musculature the Backstreet Boys were displaying.
Thank God for Donnie.
The force is strong in that one.
Laureen Harper got dragged up onstage by Howie D (my other husband).
The poor lady looked nervous enough as it was and then she got booed. I don’t care if your husband is the Spawn of Satan or Stephen Harper – that’s just not nice, people.
Can I tell you? I’ve been to a lot of concerts (including a couple BSB concerts in my early teen years, not to mention Metallica and many other heavy hitters) and this is the first time I’ve ever been seriously concerned about being knocked out cold by the shock-wave resulting from the decibel level of screams at a concert.
I wouldn’t be surprised if everyone in that arena has permanent hearing loss.
I’m not going to talk much about the musicality of the main acts, since they both delivered very nearly what I anticipated.
I was slightly baffled by the Backstreet Boys’ obvious attempt to make their music seem more worldly by having their backup band occasionally play international and jazz style music instead of the traditional drum machine/pop as the background for their vocals. It wasn’t necessary and they didn’t really pull it off very well anyway.
NKOTB, however, stayed mostly true to their original music and any alterations did actually enhance the experience rather than hinder it. Well, apart from one point where Joey McIntyre, I think, was meaning to act melancholy, though his jaw was hanging open like he was really stoned. For several (in hindsight, probably really embarrassing) minutes. I do not see acting in that boy’s future.
Speaking of being stoned, I’m a little worried about Nick Carter‘s supposed sobriety. He was acting like a total dork the whole concert. I’m hoping he was high on… life. That he was flopping on the ground and running randomly and talking sort of funny because he was, uh… really excited the tour was ending.
Before I forget, I must give props to Matthew Morrison of Mr. Schuester (Glee) fame. He was a very pleasant surprise, seemed very sweet, and totally nailed his performance.
The first band on the bill, Neverest (dorkiest name ever), was also good if you like that sort of thing. Personally, if I’m going to see a boy band play pop music, they had better be mindlessly attractive and unattached to instruments so they can parade around, gyrate, and occasionally take their clothes off. But yes, Neverest are talented boys. I think they could put that talent to use better by playing good old fashioned rock and roll, though.