10 ways to tell if you’re “done”.

Is it time to close up shop?  You know – the baby factory?

Read ahead and find out.

10.  You’ve stopped clipping coupons for diapers and formula.

9.  You start closing the bathroom door and demanding your privacy.

8.  You have so many layers of regrowth hair from each of your previous kids, not to mention the halo-like fringe around your scalp, that you wake up every morning looking like a electrified peacock.

7.  You’re looking forward to being selfish for the first time in a long time.  Planning a vacation, a new job, new hobby, joining the gym, training for a marathon, etc.

6.  Hubby has finally been allowed access to the boobs that were on temporary loan to your children.

5.  You almost always get to sleep through the night and for the first time in years have enough energy to stay up past 11PM.

4.  You hear a random newborn crying and rather than leaking milk down your shirt or having vividly emotional flashbacks to your own children’s new baby phase, your hair stands on end and you cringe cringe cringe.

3.  You start giving away your baby paraphernalia with a glee that borders on insanity – Goodbye disgusting high chair! Farewell change table!  Be gone cloth diapers!

2.  Your friend gets herself knocked up and you literally point and laugh.

1.  Aunt Flo is late – or maybe not – maybe you’re just being paranoid.  You pee on a stick, and by some miracle you don’t black-light search for that super-faint-but-must-be-there second line.  In fact, you’re genuinely relieved when it’s negative.

If you can commiserate with the above, then it’s all but guaranteed you’re “done”.  Hopefully your significant other agrees.

Good luck!

4 Comments

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4 responses to “10 ways to tell if you’re “done”.

  1. aj

    Too funny. And the timing is ironic as this week we’ve been talking about closing our own factory for good. ;)

  2. Bwah ha ha! Too funny!

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